devotion
i’ve been reflecting deeply and in conversation on what prayer looks like. growing up with southern baptist ideals, speaking to god was a painting with very few colors.
prayer looks like movement. like watching birds and washing my hair. speaking to trees. counting my breaths. prayer to me is being submerged in water. it looks like mirror meditations and big belly laughter. walks with no direction. music and nursing my child. cooking new meals with ancestors over my shoulder. time with my lover lost in each other’s language. pen on paper. pencil on paper. brush strokes and mistakes. easing my thoughts. cleansing my hands and yelling when i need to.
for a long time i felt this guilt for not speaking to god the way i had been taught but for some reason my prayers have always seemed to be answered. material things aside, spirit laughs when i laugh. we’re in constant community. i’ve learned that i pray daily by living in gratitude and speaking out loud even if no one is around to listen.
how do you pray?
This is so heartfelt and beautiful. I also grew up with the belief that I needed to prayer a certain way in order for God to hear me. Over the years, prayer has become reimagined for me. It's not just closing my eyes and uttering words into the atmosphere. Sometimes it's with my eyes wide open. Sometimes it's allowing God to hold my heart in His hands. Sometimes no words are formed. I go to God in a multitude of ways — I know He hears me even when I don't say anything.
Reading this reminded me of a poem I wrote years ago. In part it reads:
"they say a prayer is just a breath away
a gathering of air within the lungs
and an exhale
but
where do you pray from when you are
suffocating and your bones are breaking in
and every whimper that comes out is
fragments of a plea?"
Sometimes prayer is, like you said, an exhale loud enough to reach God's ear. Thank you for sharing this. <3
This is so beautifully said. I too had these same thoughts. God knows my heart and I pray daily in my thoughts, in my movements, my writing, when I awake, when I notice the flowers, when I let the sun love me and even when I rest. I am a living prayer. Thank you so much for sharing and putting words to my ponder.